Marriage Goals and the Natural Man

Anytime someone speaks of marriage goals, I immediately think of President and Sister Hanks (who were the leaders of the Alabama Birmingham Mission at the time of my baptism and my endowment). Their marriage is filled with positive sentiment override for one another. Just by observing their behavior, it is readily apparent how much they care for one another. The little things they both do for each other, make it clear to one another and anyone around them that they both highly value the other. Both of them are also always building each other up. Even when they have differences of opinion on a given topic, they are both respectful of the other and seek to find an equitable compromise. I strive to be like them in my interpersonal relationships as I work to continually overcome the natural man.

In my life I have learned that working to overcome the natural man is a lifelong pursuit and often requires us to go against our baser instincts. I’ve realized that even when I had good strong spiritual habits in my life, I still need to be on guard against “natural man” tendencies to avoid wandering off of the straight and narrow and getting lost in the mists. I’ve also learned that doing the right thing is never going to be as effortless as it was when I was younger, before I made big mistakes. I think often about what Elder Oaks said in a talk on pornography in 2004, “The brain won't vomit back filth. Once recorded, it will always remain subject to recall…” He was speaking specifically about pornography, but as I have gotten older I have realized that this also applies to bad choices that we have made. I was baptized a few years ago but sometimes images from my life before the Gospel was a major part of it still flash across my mind. I’ve learned to think of this as the natural man fighting against the spiritual part of me. I think it is the adversary’s way of trying to keep his claws on us. When those images flash across my mind, I have to remember that yes I have made mistakes but I am no longer the same person who features in those memories. I have experienced “a mighty change of heart” and am as much a new person with new behaviors and goals as was Alma the Younger after he saw the angel.