Family Council

In this week’s readings I was introduced to the book Counseling with our Councils, which was written by Elder M. Russell Ballard in 1997. In the book it talks about the importance of leading through councils and provides many examples of how the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is led by councils at varying levels of leadership, ranging from the ward council at the local level all the way up to the council formed by the three members of the First Presidency. The more I thought about the topic the more I realized how beneficial such a council could be for couples and families, but there is something important that must first be taken into account. This is demonstrated in the following excerpt from Chapter Two:

It has been interesting for me to watch the Brethren work from an agenda that contains many items, and see them handle each item efficiently and effectively… They are sensitive to one another’s thoughts and rarely interrupt one another during their conversations. During discussion they do not push their own ideas but try to determine from the discussion what would be best for the kingdom.

To help this seem more relevant to the councils that a family may have, I recommend that we change one word – kingdom to family.

They are sensitive to one another’s thoughts and rarely interrupt one another during their conversations. During discussion they do not push their own ideas but try to determine from the discussion what would be best for the family.

            In a truly balanced council, each party has a voice and all are taken into consideration when making decisions. When a couple is having a couple council, they need to be careful that both voices are heard. I love how the Brethren work in the above quote. Each gives the other opportunity to voice their own viewpoint, uninterrupted. This is crucial for balance in the council. Some people may make the mistake of assuming that the husband’s voice should override all others because he is called to preside over his family but we are told in the scriptures (D&C 121:37) that the priesthood is not to be used to exercise dominion over the souls of the children of men. A husband and wife should make decisions together in unity, seeking the Lord’s guidance as needed. Elder Ballard specifically addresses the contribution that women can make to various councils, including the family, and emphasizes that much may be lost by excluding them from the conversation.