Monday, February 6, 2017

Please Stop




For the sake of my sanity and emotional well-being please stop asking…

                If I’m dating anyone?
I don’t need the regular reminder that I am not being sought after or that rejection has become a way of life as I hear "no" from practically every guy I’ve worked up the courage to ask out. Rest assured, when the day comes that I have found a guy who is interested in a mutual commitment, you won't have to ask.
             
                When am I going to settle down?
I don’t need the reminder that most of my peers are married and are in the middle of or are done having babies. I don’t choose to be alone but am struggling to accept that being married and a mother is not in God’s plan for me at this stage of my life.
            
                 Why don’t I try harder?
It is hard to feel attractive and not feel like a target when you have been sexually abused multiple times in your life. It is hard for me to dress up, to try to be pretty and NOT feel like I am asking to get hurt again. I want to lose weight but part of me is terrified of being a healthy weight. Why? Because now at least, I know people like me for me and not because I am physically attractive.

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