Life goes on...

A lot has happened since my last post.

So at Family Home Evening (FHE) the Sunday after my baptism I was talking to Haley and Tess (the branch Relief Society (RS) first and second counselors) about how I just had a strong feeling that I was going to be called up to teach or give a talk very soon after. They mentioned that Lauren (RS President) had actually wanted me to teach that Sunday but had decided to give me a little time. Well later that same week I was chatting with Lauren on Facebook and she mentioned that she didn’t have anyone to teach that upcoming Sunday (9/15/2013). I looked at the lesson in the manual and then agreed to teach the lesson.

I was really nervous before the lesson, I’d never taught before. I learned a lot about teaching while preparing the lesson. The lesson was on Church Leadership and Selfless Service But it well went and many of my friends came up to me afterwards and said it was a great lesson.

So way back in January, I received a very clear spiritual confirmation that I am supposed to serve a mission. Then on 9/15/13 during the YSA FHE, I got what seemed like an equally clear message that I am NOT supposed to go. The person teaching was talking about how due to some decisions he had made he had been unable to serve a mission but then went on to say that serving is an individual choice. We all must decide whether to serve or NOT TO SERVE. And as soon as he said "not to serve" I felt the Spirit so strong I almost burst into tears in the middle of the lesson. It was so confusing, I didn't understand how the answer could change. Why was it right for me 8 months ago and now it isn't? I was so confused and distraught. After I got home from FHE I spent most of the rest of the night on the phone with my RM friends, seeking advice. I’d never had an answer change before, and I hadn’t even been asking a question when I got this answer. Feeling emotionally exhausted and just a little less confused I finally fell asleep around 1 am.

The next morning I felt clearer and decided to move forward with my plans to serve. I am going to continue my scripture studies, resume studying Preach My Gospel, keep going out with the Sisters, and working on my weight loss. A year is a long time. A year ago I never would have imagined that I would be where and who I am now. I felt at peace once I decided to continue down this path until another path is illuminated for me.

                Then two days ago, something really neat happened. I received my first ever calling in the Church. I have been called to be one of two Relief Society Teachers. I am excited (and nervous) that I will be teaching at least once a month, but I am thinking of it as more mission preparation. Missionaries don’t just speak to people one at a time. They deal with groups large and small, so I need to get comfortable working with groups and our branch Relief Society is a great group to teach. I don't know when is my next turn to teach, what with General Conference being less than 2 weeks away, but I am looking forward to getting another opportunity to learn as I prepare to teach.