Opposition in All Things

This last week was both really hard and pretty cool.

On the really hard side of the spectrum, someone I care deeply about was diagnosed with Leukemia. She's in the hospital undergoing Chemo now and she (and her family) stay in my prayers. I've never known someone personally before who've been diagnosed with a severe illness before and it really threw me.

I had already been having a rough week due to some family issues. I am beginning to feel like I am being asked (or forced) to choose between my Heavenly Father and His plan for me... and my mortal family. The path I am on now has made me happier than I can ever remember being, but at the same time it is a lonely path for I feel that I am walking it alone. I haven't found my eternal companion and this makes me lonely sometimes, but lately I feel like half my family isn't on the path.

It feels like the deeper I have gotten into understanding and applying the Gospel into my life, the weaker my relationship to my sister and my father has become. Things we used to do together simply hold no appeal for me and I don't know how to alter our relationship to find new common ground. Being 800 miles away from them definitely doesn't help things. I miss them so much, but have such a hard time talking to them now.

Heavenly Father and His plan for me has become the focus of my life. I am seeking to further my education in both spiritual and temporal matters while fighting the temptation to waste away more time on meaningless pursuits. I know what I want to do with my future. I want to serve a mission, go back to school and get my nursing degree and have a family of my own (if my companion finds me before I go on a mission, then I'll serve a senior mission when we are older).

I want my family to be able to partake of the peace that knowing the long-term plan (He has for us) brings. I worry a lot about my Dad. He's struggled for years and I worried about leaving him when I left Florida, but I knew that I couldn't keep living my life based on others needs. Heavenly Father gave ALL of us agency and expects us to use it. If I live my life for my parents sake, then I am abdicating my agency and allowing others to dictate my future and my progression. That would be squandering the precious gift that He gave me.

And now the adversary is using my father as a weapon against me. I deeply desired to serve a mission and the adversary doesn't want me (or any of us) to go, so he is attacking me thru my father. Dad has sounded so sad the last few times I have spoken to him and I am at a loss how to help him. In my immediate family, I'm the only one who seems to really understand him(which makes sense, considering that looks and personality wise I am almost a female clone of him) and I worry how he will handle not being able to talk to me for 6 months at a time (Mothers Day and Christmas).

And my sister, I wish I could let her feel how the Gospel makes me feel. The peace and comfort, there's truly nothing like it. The world can most certainly give you temporary happiness, but that pales in comparison to the pure joy the Gospel brings. It's like comparing baby pink to crimson. The joy from the Gospel is so full and rich, words can't adequately describe it.

I am just going to keep doing what I need to be doing and support my family as best I can. Heavenly Father promises to take care of His servants families and I am going to trust that promise as I continue to prepare to serve my mission.




On the pretty cool side of the spectrum, so I've been studying Spanish for about 8 months now. The last 2-3 weeks I've only been reading in the Spanish Book of Mormon, not doing any outside Spanish study.
I've been reading out loud, slowly working my way through the Book of Mormon.

Well last week I was reading Alma 31 and decided to do something different, I decided to read in Spanish and translate out loud to English. I got to verse 5 and realized I was totally understanding (and then thought I must be wrong, I don't know Spanish that well) so I decided to check the English Book of Mormon to confirm. Lo and behold, I was actually right. I kept going, translating and then checking for correctness.. I successfully read and translated all of chapter 31 from Spanish to English, such a cool experience.

I'm in Alma 59 now and am striving to finish before I go to Conference in April. I know that I'll make it. It's so need to see the prophet's promise (that if you read the Book of Mormon in another language, you'll be fluent by the time you are done) coming true.

Also awesome was that I got to go to the temple Friday to do baptisms. Once again, walking thru the gates onto the grounds of the Alabama Birmingham Temple was like a breath of fresh air. It really does feel like my burdens and trials are lifted when I walk onto that holy ground. I know that they are there at the gate, waiting to be reluctantly picked up when I leave, but inside the temple I pretty much forget that they are waiting for me. It is where I get to be closest to my Heavenly Father.

More awesome is that 6 months from today I will be going thru the temple to receive my own endowment. I eagerly look forward to that day. Obedience has brought me many blessings and I look forward to the opportunity to make additional covenants with my Father in Heaven.



Like it says in the scriptures, opposition in all things. I know that we must have the bitter to appreciate the sweet. So when the bitter times come, I just tell myself that Heavenly Father is planning something sweet and wants me to appreciate it!