Oh wow! Last week was so incredible!
I was sustained and set apart as a Relief Society Teacher in the YSA Branch on Sunday the 20th. My first ever calling! I am so excited to start teaching!
Getting my patriarchal blessing was such a powerful experience for me. Such a testimony builder too. I had not met Patriarch Rose before he gave me my blessing and we spoke for but a few moments before he bestowed my blessing upon me. But my blessing contained so many things that addressed personal concerns that I have not talked to anyone but Heavenly Father about. I feel so good about my future now, where before I was filled with doubts. I am very excited and eager to get the typed copy of my blessing. There were a couple things said in my blessing that I was like "Wow!" and the sentence or two after those things totally didn't register. And I was so blessed to be able to have someone I consider family at my blessing with me. I am very glad I did not go alone because it is such a comfort to have someone I can talk about the experience with (who was there).
Going back to the temple Tuesday was also incredible. I had been stressing about returning to the temple. I had only been to the temple once before and that was when I was 14 and a lot of bad things were going on in my life. When I went then, I felt peace and safety but also like I shouldn't be there. Tuesday, it felt like coming home. I felt so good to be there and was just joyous to be in my Father's house once more. My friend Brooke came with me and kind of talked me thru what to expect, where to go, and what to do. It was great.
Then Friday I got to go back again. Friday was different. I was more focused on the work and less on how I was feeling. Since my eyes are so bad, I cannot see the names when I am in the font without my glasses. So I look at the painting of Christ with John the Baptist. From my angle in the font, I could see the painting but not the heads of either of them. As they read off each name, I was mentally superimposing the face of the brother doing the baptisms and the imagined face of the sister I was being baptized for. Mentally picturing each woman's joy as her work was finally being done. I felt so powerfully while in the temple that I need to do my family history and I am going to get started today! And after I had gotten changed back into my church clothes, I was sitting there watching some additional baptisms be done and I felt so strongly that I needed to do my paternal grandfather's work. So I have started putting together the genealogy to get his work done.
Yesterday was the perfect finish to an awesome week. There was a YSA Devotional held after the branch and President Hanks spoke. I LOVE learning from him, he is such a great teacher. I learned a lot and am excited to apply what I learned to my life. He and I spoke after the devotional about my plans to serve next year and I feel even better about going now. He talked about how stress is the main reason Sisters go home early and that it is essential to learn healthy self-reliant ways to handle stress. You know my background (some of it) so you know I am used to stress and this has made me more determined to continue developing new healthy habits.
Okay now for the non-spiritual news. As of last Monday, I have officially lost 75 lbs since Jan 14th of this year. Celebrated by taking my 75 lbs photo shoot with Anna Melissa on Saturday. That was so much fun and I am excited to get the pictures later this week.
On another note… there is this guy in the YSA Branch (we'll call him Bob) that I have been interested in, but hadn't asked out because I thought he was a lot younger than me… Well each Sunday I follow the Spirit when deciding whether to go to Gospel Doctrine or Gospel Principles in the YSA Branch. Yesterday the Spirit led me to Gospel Principles. Bob is the teacher and during the lesson (on eternal marriage) he happened to mention that he is 30!!! Turns out he is only 3 months younger than me! I totally lit up in class when he said that. Sooo I gathered my courage during the devotional and (funny enough) taking heart from something President Hanks said, I went up to Bob immediately after and asked if he was seeing anyone. He said no, and so I asked him if he would like to go out to dinner sometime. He said yes!!
I am both excited and nervous for my date next week. I've never dated a member before and it's been a while since I last dated anyone. We're going to dinner after Institute. I hope things go well.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
General Conference October 2013
The adversary did not want me listening to Conference this past weekend. He attacked me again on Wednesday and Thursday. I just couldn't
seem to protect myself from that avenue of attack. I spent a lot of time
on the phone with my friends Wednesday and Thursday nights. They helped
me to see what the adversary did not want me to see. That Heavenly Father will not punish us for our pasts, once we have genuinely repented.
Conference was so amazing. I had the coolest experience with Conference on Saturday. So I had to work all day Saturday and I learned during the April 2013 Conference that I can't listen to Conference at work because I am far too easily distracted from doing my actual job because I want to focus on what . So I decided to listen in Spanish, figuring I wouldn't get as distracted if I was listening in another language. I wasn't expecting it to be a spiritual experience, but more of an intellectual exercise.
Now this is the first time I have ever taken a question to Conference. I didn't know what to expect, but was not expecting my answer to come while I was listening in another language. But I'm listening in Spanish and I get an answer to my question in like the first 10 minutes! Maravilloso! I kept listening in Spanish and it was just the coolest experience, its like the Spirit was tuning me into and out of Conference as needed. I'd be plugging away at work and suddenly a Spanish phrase would jump out at me and I'd write it down, then the Spanish would fade back into the background. This happened probably two dozen times across the course
of the two Saturday sessions. I wound up taking a another question to the 2nd Saturday session and it was also answered in Spanish. So cool. I am truly amazed by how much I understood and learned. I am excited to listen to those two sessions in English later this week and learn even more.
I'd like to take a moment and share some of what I learned in Conference, in the hopes that it may help someone else. I apologize that my notes are a little disordered. For the Spanish session, I don't know who said what because I was listening via the Spanish translator so did not hear their actual voices, and for English, well I have 12 pages of notes from Sunday. I picked out what I felt most prompted to share.
Saturday Morning Session - in Spanish
Question: What do I need to be preparing for?
Between what was revealed to me at Conference and a beautiful blessing I received last night after YSA Family Home Evening, it feels like the dark cloud that has been hanging over me has been dispersed. I feel like I can breathe again. It has been almost 5 weeks since my baptism and my records have not yet come to my ward, so I am still unable to get my limited-use recommend to go to the temple, but I am doing better. Heavenly Father has reminded me that as long as I continue to be obedient and turn to Him in my trials, He will never forsake me but will send His Spirit to be with me as a comforter and a witness that the path I am on is the right one.
Conference was so amazing. I had the coolest experience with Conference on Saturday. So I had to work all day Saturday and I learned during the April 2013 Conference that I can't listen to Conference at work because I am far too easily distracted from doing my actual job because I want to focus on what . So I decided to listen in Spanish, figuring I wouldn't get as distracted if I was listening in another language. I wasn't expecting it to be a spiritual experience, but more of an intellectual exercise.
Now this is the first time I have ever taken a question to Conference. I didn't know what to expect, but was not expecting my answer to come while I was listening in another language. But I'm listening in Spanish and I get an answer to my question in like the first 10 minutes! Maravilloso! I kept listening in Spanish and it was just the coolest experience, its like the Spirit was tuning me into and out of Conference as needed. I'd be plugging away at work and suddenly a Spanish phrase would jump out at me and I'd write it down, then the Spanish would fade back into the background. This happened probably two dozen times across the course
of the two Saturday sessions. I wound up taking a another question to the 2nd Saturday session and it was also answered in Spanish. So cool. I am truly amazed by how much I understood and learned. I am excited to listen to those two sessions in English later this week and learn even more.
I'd like to take a moment and share some of what I learned in Conference, in the hopes that it may help someone else. I apologize that my notes are a little disordered. For the Spanish session, I don't know who said what because I was listening via the Spanish translator so did not hear their actual voices, and for English, well I have 12 pages of notes from Sunday. I picked out what I felt most prompted to share.
Saturday Morning Session - in Spanish
Question: What do I need to be preparing for?
Answers: We all need to work together in the vineyard - I am to serve in the vineyard when He calls me to - to be an
on-call missionary - study the words of the prophets (living and
dead), they will protect you - become familiar with the
scriptures - the Lord will bless us when we humble ourselves before
Him - we are entitled to personal revelation - faith in God will free
you - pay your tithing, obedience is part of your personal
sanctification - living the Gospel brings peace to your
life
Saturday Afternoon Session - in Spanish
Question: What should I be focusing my spiritual studies on?
Answers: Persistence and perseverance - the promises contained in the Atonement -
scripture study will protect you - write down revelations given to
you (as they come) and then act on them
Sunday Morning Session - in English
Question: How can I learn to be at peace with your plan and your timing for my life?
Answers: You have been forgiven, do not allow your forgiven past to poison your promised future - God has devised ways to save each of His children - marriage is essential for exaltation (you will be given your chance) - God's plan is for ALL His children - remember dedication, perseverance, and self-discipline - the Lord sees weakness differently from rebellion - let Christ help protect me from my weaknesses (by using the Atonement daily) - "How Firm a Foundation" verse 7, He will not forsake me as long as I turn to Him - always be grateful for your many blessings (dwell on what you do have not what you are lacking)
Sunday Afternoon Session - in English
Question: How can I prepare to meet my eternal companion?
Answers: Wisely spend your time by rededicating yourself to your scripture study and learn to protect time for your future family - learn to see the power of the priesthood in daily life - have daily personal prayer and scripture study (not just reading the scriptures, but studying them) - always take the Sacrament seriously, thinking about what it represents - treat your body as a temple (as this relates to weight loss; before you put something in your body, think about what goes into the temple. No impure things go into the temple, so stop putting junk into your body) - self-mastery comes from placing reason over desire - seek to develop Christlike attributes and remember true permanent change comes only thru the power of the Atonement
Between what was revealed to me at Conference and a beautiful blessing I received last night after YSA Family Home Evening, it feels like the dark cloud that has been hanging over me has been dispersed. I feel like I can breathe again. It has been almost 5 weeks since my baptism and my records have not yet come to my ward, so I am still unable to get my limited-use recommend to go to the temple, but I am doing better. Heavenly Father has reminded me that as long as I continue to be obedient and turn to Him in my trials, He will never forsake me but will send His Spirit to be with me as a comforter and a witness that the path I am on is the right one.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Under Attack? Hide at the Temple!
I have felt really off balance these past few days. I had a very difficult experience at Institute on Tuesday and was really struggling. The lesson got me really thinking about my future. And the
adversary had me feeling that I don't have one. That I'm always going to be single because God knows He can't trust me because I was so messed up or that if He does let me have a family, that I'll be the epic fail my parents were (in some ways). I literally felt like I was under attack.
The 3rd marked 1 month since my baptism, and I admit, I had expected a slight reprieve after my baptism, but instead the adversary has redoubled his attacks. I know that I NEED to go to the temple as soon as possible and each day that passes that I am still unable to get my recommend (due to paperwork), he keeps trying (and sometimes succeeding) in scaring me. I have many fears for my future and he is preying on all of them. Tuesday, we had an Institute lesson that talked about families, difficulties, and the plan of salvation. During the ride home, part of me kept worrying about my role in the Plan. Part of me is terrified to have a family because I am afraid of repeating my parents mistakes. Another part of me is afraid of never being given the chance to HAVE a family because Heavenly Father knows how much I messed up and doesn't trust me, so He won't lead me to my companion or that if He does, I won't be able to have children. My heart quails at the thought of spending more years alone, I yearn so much for a family of my own that it breaks my heart sometimes. I literally could not stop crying that night.
I was riding back from Institute with my best friend Aubree and her fiancee Brian. He and I were both struggling when suddenly Aubree says, "we're going to the temple, now." So we keep going, passing the exit that would take us home and instead continue onward to the temple. Tears streaming down my face as the adversary throws everything (I knew I had been forgiven of) in my face. I haven't felt so low in a while. We rode almost in silence until we got to the temple. I was expecting the grounds to be locked, but when we arrived at 10 pm the parking lot was full of cars. As soon as I got onto the grounds, all my fears began to fade away. I took a deep breath and felt my head clear almost immediately. The three of us went to the benches on the side of the temple, knelt and Brian began to offer a prayer, but was so choked up that he couldn't continue and I tried to step in when his voice failed, but couldn't speak around the lump in my throat, Aubree (who is uncomfortable saying public prayers) spoke up and said a sweet simple prayer. When we said Amen, I felt peace return to my heart and was (and am) so intensely thankful to live so close to a temple.
I testify that there is such power in the temples. When I think of the strength and love I could feel from my Father on the grounds, it only strengthens my desire to go inside the temple as soon as I am eligible. The temple truly is His house on this earth and we need to go frequently. He loves us and it is so easy to feel that love when we are at the temple. I know that the adversary does not want any of us to go to the temple, but we have to keep moving forward.
The 3rd marked 1 month since my baptism, and I admit, I had expected a slight reprieve after my baptism, but instead the adversary has redoubled his attacks. I know that I NEED to go to the temple as soon as possible and each day that passes that I am still unable to get my recommend (due to paperwork), he keeps trying (and sometimes succeeding) in scaring me. I have many fears for my future and he is preying on all of them. Tuesday, we had an Institute lesson that talked about families, difficulties, and the plan of salvation. During the ride home, part of me kept worrying about my role in the Plan. Part of me is terrified to have a family because I am afraid of repeating my parents mistakes. Another part of me is afraid of never being given the chance to HAVE a family because Heavenly Father knows how much I messed up and doesn't trust me, so He won't lead me to my companion or that if He does, I won't be able to have children. My heart quails at the thought of spending more years alone, I yearn so much for a family of my own that it breaks my heart sometimes. I literally could not stop crying that night.
I was riding back from Institute with my best friend Aubree and her fiancee Brian. He and I were both struggling when suddenly Aubree says, "we're going to the temple, now." So we keep going, passing the exit that would take us home and instead continue onward to the temple. Tears streaming down my face as the adversary throws everything (I knew I had been forgiven of) in my face. I haven't felt so low in a while. We rode almost in silence until we got to the temple. I was expecting the grounds to be locked, but when we arrived at 10 pm the parking lot was full of cars. As soon as I got onto the grounds, all my fears began to fade away. I took a deep breath and felt my head clear almost immediately. The three of us went to the benches on the side of the temple, knelt and Brian began to offer a prayer, but was so choked up that he couldn't continue and I tried to step in when his voice failed, but couldn't speak around the lump in my throat, Aubree (who is uncomfortable saying public prayers) spoke up and said a sweet simple prayer. When we said Amen, I felt peace return to my heart and was (and am) so intensely thankful to live so close to a temple.
I testify that there is such power in the temples. When I think of the strength and love I could feel from my Father on the grounds, it only strengthens my desire to go inside the temple as soon as I am eligible. The temple truly is His house on this earth and we need to go frequently. He loves us and it is so easy to feel that love when we are at the temple. I know that the adversary does not want any of us to go to the temple, but we have to keep moving forward.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)