A Lesson Finally Learned

         So delay after delay has been popping up. A couple days after the one on July 6th (see previous post), I was studying my scriptures and the thought popped into my head, "I need to teach a lesson on patience". I was thinking, but I already taught that. But more teaching never hurt anyone. I called the Sisters and asked if I could teach the lesson this past week and they were like yeah great!
         Well as I was preparing my lesson on patience, I began to see how linked patience, hope, and faith really are. I realized that I was not approaching things correctly at all. The more I studied the more I realized that faith is not a passive thing. Faith needs to be a verb, otherwise it is just belief. I read a talk from October 1995 General Conference by Elder Richard G Scott titled "Trust in the Lord" and part of it really jumped out at me.
       
         "Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously.  When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more (see Prov. 3:11–12). He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.

         When you face adversity, you can be led to ask many questions. Some serve a useful purpose; others do not. To ask, Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to suffer this, now? What have I done to cause this? will lead you into blind alleys. It really does no good to ask questions that reflect opposition to the will of God. Rather ask, What am I to do? What am I to learn from this experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How can I remember my many blessings in times of trial? Willing sacrifice of deeply held personal desires in favor of the will of God is very hard to do. Yet, when you pray with real conviction, “Please let me know Thy will” and “May Thy will be done,” you are in the strongest position to receive the maximum help from your loving Father."

         I was going about things ALL WRONG. I was asking too many useless questions and not enough useful ones. I was blessed to teach my lesson twice this past week, once to a friend and the Sisters assigned to my ward and once to the Hermanas who teach me, and both times I learned so much. Each of the women I taught, taught me in return and I am so grateful for the Spirit that was present and testified of what I had learned.
         On the 13th, I learned of another delay. But I KNOW that this is the last delay because I have finally learned the patience Heavenly Father wanted me to learn. When I found out about this delay, it was so different. Before, each delay would upset and frustrate me, often the nights ending with me in tears, not understanding why things kept happening. But this time was so different, I was calm and peaceful the whole day. I had, and have, a soul-deep knowledge that everything is going to be okay and that this will happen when it is meant to. My path is in God's hands and there is no safer place for it and me to be. If my baptism happens next month, or 6 months from now, now I finally KNOW, in my heart and soul, that all will happen according to His plan and I am at peace with that. He loves me and wants only the best for me.