Walking by Faith

           I had heard the reference to "doubting Thomas" several times during the course of my life but I had never really understood what that refers to because I had never read the New Testament before. This week I encountered the story as I read chapter 20 of John.

21 Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.

22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost:

23 Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.

24 ¶ But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.

25 The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.

26 ¶ And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you.

27 Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing.

28 And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God.

29 Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

           Thomas believed because he saw and felt. We are asked to have faith, which the scriptures (Heb. 11:1; Alma 32:21) define as "to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true." Thomas was not exercising faith when he insisted on touching the Savior in order to believe that it was Him. The Lord asks us to walk by faith not by sight and it can be terrifying to do so. But when we take that leap of faith and move forward believing, even though we may feel as though we are stepping off the sure ground into the dark abyss, we will be more richly blessed for walking by faith than those who insist on walking by sight.

            If you've been reading my blog for the last few years you know that I have had to practice that unseeing faith multiple times. For those new to my blog, I'd like to share a condensed version of the blessings I saw unfold because of my willingness to follow Him even though I could not see where to place my feet.

            I had lived in South Florida for many years and had begun wanting to move somewhere to start anew. I applied for a job in Alabama and things seemed promising. Then I got invited to fly out there for an interview. My current job refused to give me time off and I didn’t know what to do. For the first time in many years, I prayed and asked God what to do. His answer was to go for the interview and trust Him. I closed my eyes and took that leap of faith... I quit my job and flew out for the interview. A week later I got the job. That move resulted in my returning to the Church, getting re-baptized and eventually coming out to BYU-I (where I met my sweet husband). All of those blessings would not have been possible had I not believed Him and acted on the prompting He gave me.

Love Others as Ourselves... or Better?

This summer I decided to study the New Testament for the first time in my life. It has definitely been quite a learning experience. Reading the stories that I heard about as a child but with the deeper understanding that age and experience brings has been fascinating.

This week my studies were focused more on Luke and James. While reading chapter 2 in James I came across a phrase that I have heard partially quoted many times:

8 If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well:

9 But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.

It can come naturally to us to love those who have similar interests to us or are in a similar or higher station of life than us. While loving those whom we go to church with or to school or to work can have its own set of difficulties at times, I believe the real test of this commandment is to love the addict, the criminal, those who hate us, etc. just as we love ourselves.

I've been to General Conference a couple of times and it was surprising to see all the Saints in their finery walking right past the beggars just outside Temple Square, some seeming to not even see their struggling brethren. I do not know what choices or circumstances landed those men and women in situations where they feel compelled to beg for handouts to survive but I do know that Christ commands us to love all. What is one thing you think we can do to help develop the capacity to love "even the least of these" our brethren?

Sometimes we fall under that “least of these” category ourselves. Some of us may have a hard time loving ourselves which can be a great limit to our capacity of loving others. There was a dark period in my life where I was very unkind to myself and definitely struggled with a lot of self-loathing. During that period the last thing I would have wanted to do to another was to "love" them like I was loving myself. Many times, I would try so hard to be loving to others in an attempt to try to see myself as a better person than I felt I was. What I learned from that period of my life was that when you find it difficult to love yourself, focus more on learning to see yourself as Heavenly Father does: a loved child who, while imperfect, is still very much worthy of being loved. Once you have come to see yourself as worthy of love, it often becomes easier to then extend that love to others.

Are You Sleeping on Duty?

Some of you might not know but I am a military brat. My father was a career sailor, doing twenty-two years in the United States Navy. Having a parent deployed on a regular basis helped me to be more aware of the outside world as a child than I think is common for civilian children. One thing I have noticed as I have gotten older is that that military influence has definitely shaped how I see certain things in my life.

One example of this came during my scripture studies this week. I've been studying St Luke and something really stood out to me when I read Luke 22:45-46.

45 And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow,

46 And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.

In these verses, the Savior is kind of chastising the Apostles who fell asleep when they were supposed to be guarding as He prayed in the Garden. It really struck me that He found them "sleeping for sorrow". That phrase got the wheels turning in my brain. It made me realize that when we are allowing ourselves to be lulled, it saddens Heavenly Father.  He knows how vigorously and persistently the adversary attacks His children and it must make Him sad to see us dropping our guard.

I've long cherished the idea of my home as a castle, a fortified sanctuary from the world, but this week I've come to realize that I need to also view myself as a soldier living in enemy territory. I need to be doing the things that help keep me armored against the insidious attacks of the enemy. Armor that is neglected becomes rusty, ineffective and eventually incapable of stopping enemy assaults. The beautiful thing is that even if we have allowed our armor to degrade, the Lord has given us the tools to get it back to like-new status if we are but willing to use those tools to restore our damaged armor. Any blacksmith can tell you that fixing damaged armor is not easy but isn't the protection it gives worth the work? What are some things you do to help restore your armor when you discover that you have allowed it to get tarnished or rusty?

Choosing to be Christ-like Brings Blessings

Something has been on my mind a fair bit lately and I'd like to share my thoughts with you. I keep thinking about the so-called "culture war" that is unfolding in American society. It's difficult on many fronts and a tactic I have seen is those who claim to be Christian being attacked for standing for traditional marriage or chastity by those who are not fans of one, the other or either. And many of their opponents like to throw the scriptures about loving thy neighbor at them.  Then there are those who claim to be Christ-like but who openly endorse things that Christ would not have.

This summer I decided to read the New Testament for the first time. When I was studying the scriptures this week I came across the following scripture in Titus 1:16:

"They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate."

This made me realize that it is not nearly enough for us to claim to be Christian. Our behavior AND our words both must exhibit Christ-like behavior. We must show love, even to those we disagree with, but also make it clear that we support Christ-like behaviors and condemn those behaviors that the Lord has called abominable. When we are doing our best to strive to be obedient to all His commandments including "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in" then we are eligible for the blessings that are predicated upon our obedience. Our firm commitment to the Gospel may also serve as a beacon to help others who are seeking to find their way back to the Savior and Heavenly Father.

Another scripture that stood out to me was verse nine of the first chapter of Hebrews:

"Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows." 

Two things stood out to me in this verse. One is that it directly addresses how blessed the Hebrews were because of their love for righteousness. But I also found it interesting that it also stressed that they hated iniquity. It is not enough for us merely to be doing the righteous things from day to day. We also need to make sure that we do not accept iniquity in our own lives. 

As I thought more about how I could live that “hatred for iniquity” I realized that it means not accepting things into my life that I know to be unrighteous. I realized that one place I could start was by becoming more discerning in the media entertainment I consume. Just because I am not the one committing a sin, it does not follow that it is okay for me to listen to or watch someone else doing so. 

This really touched a nerve as I thought about my future children. My husband and I are looking forward to welcoming children into our family (hopefully) in the months and years that lie ahead and I realized that I need to become the person now that I would like them to look up to later. Now is the time for action!

A Turn of the Heart

It simply fascinates me y'all that the Holy Ghost can use a verse to teach you or remind you of something that, at first glance, seems completely unrelated. This has happened to me a couple different times but the most recent one really touched my heart deeply.

When I was studying chapter twelve of John, verse eight really leapt out at me. The verse states: “For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always.” This line comes in the conversation between the Savior and Judas about why Mary anointed Him with expensive ointment rather than selling it to get money to help the poor.

As I read this, my mind turned towards the older members of my extended family. I realized that my younger family will likely be with me for many more years to come but that the older generation will be gone soon and I need to stop treating them like they will always be with me. My mother’s parents are my only living grandparents and raised me for a year as a child. I love them and it was a bit of shock to realize that they may not have many years left on this side of the veil. This scripture has moved me to begin making plans to fly to the East Coast to see them soon and to cherish the time while I am there. While we do need to care for those who will be with us for a long time, it is also okay for us to make an extra special effort to care for those who may be lost to us soon.

I have long thought that the often-quoted scripture in Malachi 4...

5 Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord:

6 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

... applied to genealogy, but this epiphany made me realize that it's not just our bygone forefathers but our living ones that we should be turning to as well. We could lose a member of our families at any time, whether it be an elder member due to the frailties of old age or a young member to an untimely end. Have you talked to those you love, but are perhaps far removed from you, recently? I am going to begin making a point of talking to my family, especially my grandparents and parents, more often and more consistently. I think I will follow the example of my awesome husband and set a time each week to reach out to them.

Cleave Unto Your Spouse

            It's been a long time since I posted on this blog. So first, just a quick update on life. I starting dating my husband on Sept 23rd, 2017 and partially have this blog to thank. It was reading of my struggles and path to baptism that really moved him (he's a convert too) to want to get to know me better and decide to ask me out. We got engaged on March 28, 2018, and sealed in the temple on July 28th, 2018.

            I've gotten back into studying marriage but this time I am studying marriage through the Gospel lens rather than from a more secular perspective. Learning more about what Heavenly Father and our Savior want for us in marriage. This week I was studying Matthew and when I read Matthew 19 several verses stood out to me:

5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

            This made me think about what cleaving really means. Cleaving unto something implies an action, not the passivity that seems acceptable to the world. If we are to fulfill our temple covenants, then we must actively be seeking after, loving and caring for our spouse. This really resonated with me for both personal and professional reasons. I am attending college with the goal of becoming a therapist who works with foster children and their families. I want to strengthen my own marriage by cleaving to my husband. We are focused on putting each others needs first and being united in our response to anything that affects our family. We will always be our parents’ children but that bond no longer comes first as we are now the Diazes, a new little family in its own right. I think that as we strive to put each other first and heed the Lord's counsel, we will strengthen our marriage and develop a solid foundation upon which we can begin to build our next generation. Multiple studies have shown that children who are raised in a home with a mother and father who care deeply for one another as well as for the children generally have much better outcomes than children raised by parents who are disaffected or, worse, hostile to one another. By cleaving unto our spouses, we will be better equipped to be the parents that the Lord would have us be. And I feel that as I practice cleaving in my personal life, I will be better equipped to